Does bedtime turn into a battle at your house? Here are a few tips to help create a better bedtime routine.  

Getting kids to bed can be a very trying time for parents. It’s the end of the day, we are tired as parents from a busy day, and longing for some quiet time to ourselves. Why do they have to come up with one more excuse to delay bedtime?  Bedtime struggles happen in every home to some extent, but getting kids calmed and ready for rest can be increasingly challenging for those with ADHD or anxiety. Kids will be kids, but there are a few tips and tricks I have gathered over the years to help make bedtime a bit more manageable. 

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

One important factor in helping your children, especially young ones, sleep well is by creating pleasant, memorable experiences or chances to connect at bedtime.  Such routines also facilitate better sleep by helping provide a sense of security and love. 

 Here are a few suggestions for creating better bedtime rituals for your children:

• Think about the environment: set the tone for relaxation by ensuring any screens are shut off at least an hour before bed; dim the lights if your able or reduce the number of lights on; quiet your voice. 
• Set clear bedtime rules, and be consistent about when it is time for bed. Use a whistle or other signaling device to announce the start of their bedtime ritual. It can come to serve as an important conditioned cue for sleep. For children who know how to tell time, having a set time on the clock can be helpful to keep them moving through the routine. 
• Visual schedules can be helpful tools, especially for young children to help them know what steps need to be completed and in what order before it’s lights out.  This encourages independence. The visual schedule should limit the call outs or delays like “I need my water bottle,” and “I have to pee!” When first introducing a visual schedule have the child check off each completed task with a dry erase marker. This also helps them feel like they have some control while also learning the routine and what is expected of them. 
• Give children advanced warning when the night will deviate from routine and what they can expect instead. Kids like things to be predictable and as mentioned already this helps them feel safe and secure. Try to stay as close to normal bedtimes to ensure your child gets the rest they need. 
• Set aside priority time for your children’s ritual, say 20 or more minutes each evening, and be consistent. In these days of stress and work pressures, parents need to give this time the highest priority.  
• Unwind talk: allow your children to tell you about their day or talk about whatever is on their minds. This helps to identify any bad experiences and gives you an opportunity to talk through any problems or concerns.  
• If your child is very young, rock him or her to a sleepy state with a song or lullaby.
• For older children, creating a way to provide a comforting and calming touch can calm the nervous system and help a child relax and get ready for bed. Every child is different- my oldest son is 8 and he is not a kid who loves being hugged and likes his space; but, I have found he loves it when I rub his back. Our ritual is that I draw a “garden” on his back- talking through the routine of “cultivating the soil, making long straight rows, and planting the seeds-naming each vegetable or fruit etc.”. The visual imagery of this together with the physical touch relaxes his mind and body.  My younger children enjoy this as well and it has turned into our family ritual “what should I draw tonight” a garden, a park, a house, a farm?, etc. 
• Remember, bedtime is separation time for children. It can be made easier by providing a transitional object, such as a Teddy bear, doll, or blanket. 
• Start early– even young babies benefit from consistent nighttime routines.

Photo by Dakota Corbin on Unsplash

Happy Sleeping!